Behind Blue Eyes
by BlckAmthystStar
Summary: A look inside the mind of Draco after his sixth year at Hogwarts. Spolier Alert. PostHBP Song Fic


**a/n:** Don't you just love it when songs inspire you? This is a song fic based on _Behind Blue Eyes_ by _Limp Bizkit _(also by _The Who_).

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No one knows what its like  
To be the bad man, to be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes.

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Draco stared into the mirror. His face was pale and his slick blonde tresses looked dull and lifeless. His steel blue eyes had dark bags under them. He was exhausted. The Dark Lord wouldn't let him forget that he hadn't completed his task. He spared his life, but only for now. _

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And no one knows what it's like  
To be hated, to be fated  
To telling only lies

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He thought back to when he was at school, before he decided to fill his father's vacant role. Sure, he wasn't necessarily the nicest person, but at least he would never have intentionally hurt someone so bad as to cause them death. He thought he could complete his task, but when the time came, he realized how much he was giving up._

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But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free

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He should have listened to Dumbledore. He should have taken his offer of escape and protection, but now he was lost. He was stuck in a place and situation that no one would want to be in. He dreamed of retribution on his new master. It was up to him and him alone to make up for his mistakes, no matter the consequences._

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No one knows what it's like  
To feel these feelings  
Like I do, and I blame you!

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His hand collided with the mirror, shattering it into a million shards of sharp glass. He didn't want to be like his father any longer, and seeing his reflection in the glass only reminded him more of the man he had grown to hate. His father was inside him and nothing could rip that out. His hand dripped heavily with dark blood, but he felt no pain. There was no pain that could be worse than what he felt inside._

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No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain and woe  
Can show through

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His father had always told him that emotions were for the weak. He was forced to follow his father's unrealistic ideals. His mother could do nothing to change the ways of her husband, and could only submit to his torment as well. They were all pulled into this world of darkness. _

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_

But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free

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It was up to him to save his mother, even if it cost him his own life. He made have been pulled unwillingly into this life, but he would not accept it as his way of life. He could never accept the horrifying and repulsive ideals that the Dark Lord possessed. The world would never be the Dark Lord's to control if he had anything to do with it. _

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No one knows what its like  
To be mistreated, to be defeated  
Behind blue eyes

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He joined the Death Eaters to prove his worth to his father. His only hope was that his father would finally accept him, but he realized that his father would never accept him. There was no acceptance in this world, only domination and those who submit to it. He had left a mistreated household to ironically, join into a place of more mistreatment that his father could ever lay upon him. He felt defeated in his endeavors, but he knew if there were any hope for him and his mother's survival, he couldn't give up now._

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No one knows how to say  
That they're sorry and don't worry  
I'm not telling lies

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He pulled out a roll of parchment at sat at the small table behind him. Placing the quill in the ink, he stopped. How could he tell his mother his plans? He wanted to assure her that everything would be fine from now on, but he was afraid of the owl getting intercepted and ruining his plans. He placed the quill to the parchment, and wrote the only thing he wasn't afraid to say, _It'll be over soon. – D.M._ _

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_

But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free

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Sending the owl to his mother, he knew it the time was soon approaching to set his plan into motion. There was now only one person who could help him, and that man would never trust him, let alone help him. He picked up his quill again to send another message. He only hoped it would meet it's intended recipient and they would understand. _I never meant what I said. Understanding is necessary. Tell him I need his help and he needs mine. New trust... – The only one you'd ever punch._ _

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No one knows what its like  
To be the bad man, to be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes.

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He had attained a new understanding of the girl he once hated for her "dirty blood" and he only hoped she would accept him. He had done so much harm to everyone and now could not even turn to the people he had called his friends. He hoped in his heart that even through everything he'd done, she would be the one person to understand. She was the one person who might believe him, and she was the one person who could get him the help he desperately needed. He wasn't just doing this for his mother and himself anymore, he was doing it for her too, for everyone.

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**a/n:** I hope everyone likes my one-shot song fic. This is the first time I've written about Draco, but it was something I felt in my heart and just had to write.


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